Shyambajuz: Harder, Browner, Faster, Stronger

At 5′10″,  175-lbs (for the media guide, so subtract an inch and few pounds), the left-handed Shyam Patel is a redshirt freshman wide receiver from Torrance, CA. In effort to see more of the country, he decided to pursue a football scholarship outside his native California.  On a friend’s recommendation, he chose to check the scene in Austin, TX and immediately fell in love. With the nations finest teams courting the uber-speedy and agile Patel, he was an instant fan favorite among the Longhorns. Best of all, Patel offered to bring water to the Longhorn junior punter during every practice so that he could wear #14. As we know, 14 is a significant number for Patel.

Look for Patel to make his biggest impact on kick returns and in the back-up slot position. Patel will be on 2nd team and is expected to receive 20-25% of the snaps - quite a remarkable feat for a freshman, even for the talented Patel.  Here is Patel during spring practice. Though Patel likes to add an element of theatrics to his catches as shown below, his ability to separate and find the ball is elite.

We look forward to tracking Patel’s progress in the coming weeks.   Yes, there will be more to come ….

1. One must wear a proper lab coat that hasn’t been washed since last year. This protects your fashionable clothes from toxic chemicals and other contaminants. Note that the coat need not be buttoned.

2. Gloves are a protection against contamination of precious samples… and also provide an extra layer of protection for your delicate skin against possible accidents.

3. Remember that authorized user access to the laboratory is enforced on a 24 hour basis. Any suspicious persons entering the laboratory without proper ID will be subject to harassment by random (fat and angry) security personnel. Note that unfettered use of gloves on door handles is totally acceptable.

4. Before starting any work with cells or animal tissue, please remember to spray down your gloves with 70% ethanol. Proper spraying technique is required.

5. Two essential steps for collection of your cells or sample with the centrifuge:

(1) Please balance your sample with a random tube of unidentified liquid that is laying around the lab.

(2) A prayer before starting the centrifuge is required to ensure proper spinning of the centrifuge. If the centrifuge faults anyway, you may try a curse instead. Results not guaranteed either way.

Follow the Shyambajuz Laboratory Safety Guide and your experiments are guaranteed to succeed!

Not really about Shyam, but relevant none-the-less. Michelle made Honor/No Honor Hat.

HONOR!

NO HONOR!