Shyambajuz: Harder, Browner, Faster, Stronger

Now that Shyam knows about www.shyambajuz.com (not affiliated with Shyam P.), what next?  I ask you, fellow guilty parties, where do we go from here?

Welcome to Shyambajuz 2.0…

Welcome to the future!

or was it the past… I can’t remember… anyways YOU’VE BEEN SHYAMROLLED BABY!!!

So Shyam Patel is super human or whatever, but did you know he has a weakness?  If you want to see Shyam’s eyes light up, utter the phrase “crack mocha*” and see what happens.

No really, try it.

Done?

Okay, so did he start drooling instantaneously?  Also did you note his swift move towards Cafe Strada or the Free Speech Movement Cafe?

Good.

I’m not sure if Shyam coined the term himself, but really the origin is unimportant because I just handed you the key to his caffeine adoring heart.

Say it once more, with feeling, “crack mocha.”

The end.

Other Shyam kryptonite includes: Jill K., chocolate, Cal football, and Obama

*Crack Mocha= luscious, creamy, fatty white chocolate infused hot mocha….mmmmmmmmm

champion-of-my-heart

From Sarah Payne, with hate.

At 5′10″,  175-lbs (for the media guide, so subtract an inch and few pounds), the left-handed Shyam Patel is a redshirt freshman wide receiver from Torrance, CA. In effort to see more of the country, he decided to pursue a football scholarship outside his native California.  On a friend’s recommendation, he chose to check the scene in Austin, TX and immediately fell in love. With the nations finest teams courting the uber-speedy and agile Patel, he was an instant fan favorite among the Longhorns. Best of all, Patel offered to bring water to the Longhorn junior punter during every practice so that he could wear #14. As we know, 14 is a significant number for Patel.

Look for Patel to make his biggest impact on kick returns and in the back-up slot position. Patel will be on 2nd team and is expected to receive 20-25% of the snaps - quite a remarkable feat for a freshman, even for the talented Patel.  Here is Patel during spring practice. Though Patel likes to add an element of theatrics to his catches as shown below, his ability to separate and find the ball is elite.

We look forward to tracking Patel’s progress in the coming weeks.   Yes, there will be more to come ….

NanoBrew has made beer three times. Each time, we eagerly await Shyam’s arrival. Each time, we are sorely disappointed.

Beer 1: The English BROWN Ale. It was the new awesome. But apparently not brown enough for Shyam.

Beer 2: The Irish Stout. It was STRONGER than the brown. But apparently not strong enough for Shyam.

Beer 3: The Blonde Ale. This brewed FASTER than either the others. But apparently not fast enough for Shyam.

Tell us Shyam, tell us! What is required of us for you to partake of our NanoBrew?? Would you be happy with a HARD apple cider? Would it be hard enough? Or an INDIAN Pale Ale? Or would that be too pale?

I remember the first time I went out dancing with Jon and his friends…..I was introduced to the Shyam Shuffle.

Now this is how it goes:

You put your hands behind your back, clasped. you make sweeping, crossing movements with your legs. left right left right or vice versa (see picture below - not accurate representation)

Back in 2004, I had a favorite set of webpages that I liked to visit. One of these was the delightfully well designed and always insightfully written Shyambajuz.com. Then one day to my surprise and horror, the page was “Not Found.” I begged for Shyam to reconsider the discontinuation his website. “Please Shyam, Please… What will I do with my free hours at work… work? That’s insane you monster!” I begged and pleaded.

I was very sad when Shyam let the subscription lapse on Shyambajuz.com. I was even sadder when a german company bought Shyambajuz.com and was trying to sell it for $500.

Well I’m glad to tell you the Shyambajuz.com is back in the safe and friendly hands of his friends. Now let’s make him pay for ever letting the subscription lapse.