Shyambajuz: Harder, Browner, Faster, Stronger

Now that Shyam knows about www.shyambajuz.com (not affiliated with Shyam P.), what next?  I ask you, fellow guilty parties, where do we go from here?

Welcome to Shyambajuz 2.0…

Welcome to the future!

or was it the past… I can’t remember… anyways YOU’VE BEEN SHYAMROLLED BABY!!!

So Shyam Patel is super human or whatever, but did you know he has a weakness?  If you want to see Shyam’s eyes light up, utter the phrase “crack mocha*” and see what happens.

No really, try it.

Done?

Okay, so did he start drooling instantaneously?  Also did you note his swift move towards Cafe Strada or the Free Speech Movement Cafe?

Good.

I’m not sure if Shyam coined the term himself, but really the origin is unimportant because I just handed you the key to his caffeine adoring heart.

Say it once more, with feeling, “crack mocha.”

The end.

Other Shyam kryptonite includes: Jill K., chocolate, Cal football, and Obama

*Crack Mocha= luscious, creamy, fatty white chocolate infused hot mocha….mmmmmmmmm

At 5′10″,  175-lbs (for the media guide, so subtract an inch and few pounds), the left-handed Shyam Patel is a redshirt freshman wide receiver from Torrance, CA. In effort to see more of the country, he decided to pursue a football scholarship outside his native California.  On a friend’s recommendation, he chose to check the scene in Austin, TX and immediately fell in love. With the nations finest teams courting the uber-speedy and agile Patel, he was an instant fan favorite among the Longhorns. Best of all, Patel offered to bring water to the Longhorn junior punter during every practice so that he could wear #14. As we know, 14 is a significant number for Patel.

Look for Patel to make his biggest impact on kick returns and in the back-up slot position. Patel will be on 2nd team and is expected to receive 20-25% of the snaps - quite a remarkable feat for a freshman, even for the talented Patel.  Here is Patel during spring practice. Though Patel likes to add an element of theatrics to his catches as shown below, his ability to separate and find the ball is elite.

We look forward to tracking Patel’s progress in the coming weeks.   Yes, there will be more to come ….

Even Bhangra Kings need to drink water. No cups necessary.

NanoBrew has made beer three times. Each time, we eagerly await Shyam’s arrival. Each time, we are sorely disappointed.

Beer 1: The English BROWN Ale. It was the new awesome. But apparently not brown enough for Shyam.

Beer 2: The Irish Stout. It was STRONGER than the brown. But apparently not strong enough for Shyam.

Beer 3: The Blonde Ale. This brewed FASTER than either the others. But apparently not fast enough for Shyam.

Tell us Shyam, tell us! What is required of us for you to partake of our NanoBrew?? Would you be happy with a HARD apple cider? Would it be hard enough? Or an INDIAN Pale Ale? Or would that be too pale?

Ok so me and Yap are always bitching that Shyam and Jill don’t come and play rock band with us. Well, we’ve remedied this problem now.

Here’s Shyam just doing his thing.

Shyam’s quote.

Shyam rocking it in black and white.

Note: Yap and I debated for a whole 30 seconds before we decided that no, this was indeed funny and not just super creepy.

We all know and love me - Sarah Payne . . . SPayne . . . House of Payne. Let’s count the ways:

I’m awesome

I’m brown

I say inappropriate things

So why don’t you come to my birthday party? You’re welcome.

and welcome to hell!